How can one person make you feel so poorly?

7 Jul

I guess I let him treat me this way, no matter how hard I try to stand up for myself.  No matter how I try to be strong, it ends the same way, me locked in my room, tears flowing, bruised.

Just got so worked up that I started throwing up… threw up even when there was nothing to throw up.  Threw up until it was blood coming out.  Anxiety meds aren’t strong enough for what goes on in my world on several days.

All I would really like to do is take some pain medication to take this pain away, that would help for the “now”, but do have that part of my brain that is working that knows that it will not help in the long run.

The quote that resonates over and over in my world is from Dante, “In the middle of the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood, for I had lost the right path.”  I need to find the right path and need to make a new start… but when can I do that?

 

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