Stressed doesn’t seem to be the right word…

22 Jun

What a week!

Monday night was the joint fundraiser event at Lucia’s.  Had the biggest surprise when TDM walked in.  Completely didn’t see that one coming, put a huge smile on my face.  Was also blessed with a good turnout of friends and teammates, both in support of Komen and Avon.  The “hard part” of the evening was seeing my ex who came with another person…. made me pretty anxious, but made it through knowing that it was more money going towards a cure.  Wish I had been able to table hop a little more and talk to more people, but I did what I could and am so very thankful for those that came out.

Tuesday after work I headed to the doctor for a physical.  He is worried about how my leg looks from all the scratching and is going to talk to my psych about changing my meds as he things it is anxiety driven.  There is a slight infection that I have to watch and try to treat with topical ointment.  I have to go get a full set of lab work one morning, was planning on doing it this week, but was unable to.  After the appointment I went to Alexandria Hospital to photograph a newborn.  27 hours old, she is a cutie.  Had a good time doing one of the things I love most, photography.

Wednesday morning I was on my way to work.  Was beginning to get a sinking feeling as Joey had not been home nor heard from in about 5 days.  So I called Cindy (ex) since she works at Inova and asked her to do the “hospital check”, something she has done for me on more than one occasion.  She is able to check all 5 Inova hospitals to see if a patient is registered.  My heart sank when she said “I found him, he has been at Fairfax for at least a day”.  So I turned my car around and headed back home.  Told my dad that Joey was in the hospital.  Dad got pissed immediately and was convinced that it was drugs again (Joey had been to the hospital about 5-6 times after my mom’s death because of crystal meth).  I was pretty convinced as well, but was somehow hoping I was wrong.  I had to wait until the phone lines opened to call the hospital, finally got ahold of Joey at 7:30 and he said he was in the car and blacked out and woke up in the hospital and had no memory of what happened.  Around 9:30 I headed to the hospital and asked them to let me see him before visiting hours.  As soon as I saw him I knew it was a drug overdose, the number of IVs in him with flushing him out was an obvious sign (and the doctor also took me outside to tell me).  Doctor came back in around 11ish and told Joey he could be discharged as he didn’t see any reason to keep him.  So a while later the discharge nurse came in Joey signed the papers got dressed and we stood up to leave.  At that moment two police officers walked in and asked Joey if he knew why Arlington County had a warrant out for his arrest, Joey said no, but was also extremely calm like he knew it was coming (something I came to the conclusion of later after shock wore off).  So the Fairfax County police officers said they were not aware of what the warrant was for, but were under orders to arrest him and deliver him to Arlington County.  So right then they handcuffed Joey and walked him out of the hospital.  My brother, being arrested right in front of me.  I simply didn’t know what to do, I was in shock, I was hurt, I was a whole series of emotions that I cannot put words to.

I drove to a friend’s house and crashed there for a few hours that afternoon, unfortunately I was such an emotional wreck that I frightened her 14 year old son who was not sure what was going on with me.  He came over and gave me a hug, but I know I threw him for a loop, not something I ever want to do to anyone of my friends or their kids ever again.  Need to possibly just be by myself when I get that worked up.

Joey tried to call me that afternoon and I declined his phone call.  My father called me 10 minutes later and told me that Joey could post bond in the amount of $2,500.00 and be released into our custody.  My father asked if I would go with him to get Joey, I declined.  My father also asked me if I had been drinking, really?!?!?!  For those that know me, I rarely drink and if I do it is minimal.  My father said he was going to go bail Joey out.

I came home and crashed for a while.  By 7pm I could not get ahold of my father, he had left for Arlington around 3pm, so I was getting concerned.  Finally at 8:30pm I was able to get ahold of the booking office who told me Joey would be released soon, so at least at that point I knew where my dad was and that he was safe and so I went to bed.

Thursday morning came and I asked my father what they charged Joey with.  They charged him with a felony and a misdemeanor.  The felony was possession of a controlled substance with intent to sell (meth).   He has to appear in court on Monday afternoon to set a trial date and hopefully get a court appointed attorney since he really has no job and can’t afford an attorney.  I went to work for about 6 hours, but I was such an emotional wreck at that point that I needed to go home.  Thursday also happened to be mom’s 76th birthday.  A day no one in my family remembered but me, which really is fine.  I remembered, I held her close to my heart all day really much like any other day.  I came home from work at 2pm and crashed hard, took xanax and benadryl and slept hard.  To the point where two friends tried to reach me and couldn’t and were worried.  I never want anyone to be worked about me, but understand where they were coming from.

So the question now is, will I appear in court  with Joey on Monday.  I have told myself no, however there is a chance I will be called as a character witness, my issue with that is, it would not be in Joey’s best interest to have me as a character witness.

So much buzzing through my head this week.  From learning Joey was in the hospital and a deep fear he was not going to be okay physically, then to watch him be arrested and not really care.  And now for the last 2 days he has remained asleep on the couch.  He has no car, the police impounded it and there is no telling when they will release it, as far as my opinion they need to keep it until after court, Joey has no business going anywhere.  If he has a car I truly believe he will not show up for court Monday and my father will be out the bail money.

Stressed, yes.  Anxious, yes.  Angry, yes.  Drug free, yes 120 days.

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