Therapy surfaces “stuff”

24 Apr

Had therapy this morning.  My therapist is really good about digging deep and making me think (her job, but she is good at it).  Today was mostly about the brother.  I have a lot of hurt, resentment, frustration, and a whole bunch of other emotions that I can’t verbalize about my brother.  The fact that he has not had a job (nor really looked for one) in over 9 months and “expects” my father and I to support him is part of that.  I can’t keep getting him out of jams and the longer this goes on the stronger my feelings get.  The only thing I pay now for him is his student loan and that is because they called me as the third-party he put in charge of his debt for the student loans.  I have tried to help him out in buying certain things from him like his furniture.  I also let him use my eBay account to sell some of his stuff (as his account was deactivated after screwing someone over).  He almost managed to screw up my eBay account and the only reason he didn’t succeed is that after he sold his stuff and failed to go to the post office to mail it I had to step in.

The latest development on the brother front came this week.  I was online looking at the Fairfax County Court System to make sure that a court case that I was involved in had indeed been dismissed (Inova Health Systems was suing me for non-payment, however, I had given their lawyer a copy of the cancelled check).  My case had indeed been dismissed.  Well my brother shows up right above me in the database as our first names are close enough.  He was being sued by his previous employer after he quit and a few of his clients had in turn cancelled their remodelling jobs.  Joey was supposed to counter-sue and had good reasons to, so the worse case scenario that could have come out was that the claims would have offset each other and each party would walk away not owing each other anything.  Joey’s court case was on April 16th.  I found it odd that he didn’t get up that morning.  He claimed that evening that his court case had been continued to another date.  I figured that was plausible and didn’t think twice about it.  HOWEVER, when I was looking at the court database, the case was ruled in favor of the Plaintiff due to the defendant not showing up.  REALLY?!?!?!?!  So no chance to counter-sue as that was the same date.  So, how much was the Plaintiff looking to collect from my brother… $20,000!!!  Yupp, that would be four zero’s after that two.  When I asked Joey about it at first he had nothing to say.  Then he said he was planning on filing bankruptcy and it just didn’t matter.  REALLY!?!??!?!?!  Who doesn’t even try?!?!?!  Does he think that filing bankruptcy is just going to “fix” everything in his life?!?!?  I know that because between my father and I he won’t lose his car if he files bankruptcy because his car payment has been kept current.  However, it has to remain being kept current.

He is so convinced that when my father sells the house that whatever my father makes on the house he is going to split it three ways… how cloudy can his mind be?  When my father sells the house he is going to need to put money towards another home/condo or use money to rent an apartment, whatever he decides to do.  My father had already told us that when he sold the house that if he could he would give us each 5 or 10K.  I thought that was extremely generous of my father, I don’t think he needs to give us anything, but he wants to do something for us while he is still alive.  But for my brother to think that he is going to come away from the sale of my father’s house with upwards of 75K is CRAZY!!

Ugh, I am so incredibly frustrated.  Between my TDM, therapist and a very special friend, I am beginning to realize and ACCEPT how really toxic the environment I am living in really is.  I need to figure this out and how to move past things.

61 days clean, 0 days cut free (wasn’t successful in stopping today)

0.55 miles walked in 10:15 minutes.  Took pup with me for her first “walk” since her surgery.

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