60 days ago I stopped taking prescription pain killers. Today marks 60 days clean. I won’t say it has been easy, I won’t say that I don’t think about using. What I will say is that I have made it 60 DAYS and will CONTINUE on this drug free life.
I do have other demons that I must conquer that are also unhealthy, but I will take things one step at a time. I do have other addictive behaviors that are not healthy. Now that I have reached 60 days with this, tomorrow I will begin to conquer another one of those addictive behaviors and will hope that I can overcome it and continue to add on to my 60 day count drug free. That addiction would be cutting. I have finally admitted to myself that this has gotten out of control, something that I thought I had conquered years ago, but came back into play several months ago. Tomorrow I begin my an attempt to stop. As weird as it probably sounds to people, cutting actually relieves pain for me.
So I began with a positive note, I will end with a positive note. Today I officially was changed to Arizona for my 3-Day walk from DC. I will be WALKING in November in Phoenix. I will still be crewing in Boston in July. Now it is time to train and to fundraise. I sent emails out tonight to family and friends asking for donations. I did my first “official” training walk tonight. It was only 1.07 miles and I completed it in 16:50 minutes. While I know that is not a long or quick walk, it was definitley a start for me and I am proud of myself. Despite the rain, I went out and walked. I got off my ass and I walked. Proud indeed.
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