The Atmosphere

19 Apr

Something I didn’t ever think I would write or talk about, but last night it happened again and is weighing on me heavily.

I live with two men, my father and my brother. Both of which have anger issues of some sort. My brothers usually only comes out when he is high. My father is unpredictable. Unfortunately I am the one that the anger is taken out on in most cases.

So, my brother breaks the washing machine last night because he was careless when he threw his stuff in. We have a front load machine and something he threw in was hanging out of the machine part way when it started thus starting a tangling war as it started to spin and eventually collapsing the guts of the machine. Clearly my brothers fault. Who does Mt father take it out on, me. Why? No answer. Does my brother ever get the brunt of my father’s anger? No. Fair? No. Anything I can do about it? No.

What does my father do when he gets angry? Yells, screams, curses, throws things, other stuff I can’t talk about.

So last night I got the brunt of this anger. The first opportunity I could I went up to my room, locked the door, and stayed there the whole night. This morning, took a shower, got dressed and left the house as soon as I could.

I know I need to move out of the house, I also know that I do not want to pay rent and if i can hang on a few more months I may be able to buy a place. Thus, I wait. And lock my door.

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